Try something new for 30 days

I really like the idea of a photo a day. So, for the next 30 days I'm going to take a photo...of something...and when I have my daily photo, I'll post them here.

Day 1: My son, the picture really says it all.

Day 2: Spirals

Day 3: Wexler Hall, ASU

Day 4: Santa, the benefits of laughter

Day 5: Reflection

Day 6: Awnings at MU

Day 7: Coming tomorrow...

Facing an incurable medical condition

I’ve been trying to figure out what has been going on with my body for over four years now. When I got pregnant with my son, I just knew it wouldn’t be an easy pregnancy, and I was right. I’d had problems with unpredictable monthly cycles and pain for as long as I can remember. It was so bad that at 13 I was put on birth control pills to regulate my cycle and help with the pain. It didn’t help with the pain, and it continued to get worse over the years; to the point that when the pain hit, sometimes my knees would actually give out from under me; not fun in the least. And of course doctors didn’t have a clue; or they just didn’t believe the extent of the pain I experienced. They were at a loss, and so was I.

My son was my 4th pregnancy; so I knew that having one of those pregnancies where you feel great and love the feel of your child moving and growing wasn’t going to happen. At around 7-8 weeks the nausea started, and I literally couldn’t eat…anything. So I really didn’t put on any weight until my 3rd trimester. And nothing helped; it was constant 24/7 misery. I also experienced a lot of pain every time my son moved or kicked. The doctors didn’t really believe me; I was under a lot of stress. I threw my now ex-husband out of our home, and had to come to the realization that I was going to have to raise our son alone. He wouldn’t get the help he needed; and our last argument concerned whether or not physical punishment was acceptable. His argument included that it was “none of my damn business if my father-in-law was abusive…that he (my ex) needed and deserved to be beaten by his father when he was a kid because he was disobedient.” Because children are just known for their obedience…really? (That’s a rhetorical question.) I didn’t have to be a mother to know that the job of a child is to learn, which means that they will push every button and try to cross every line you have. How else are they supposed to figure out what’s right and wrong; what they can get away with and what they can’t; what’s acceptable in life and what isn’t. You never raise a hand to a child! So, as so many other 6 month pregnant women would do, I blew. He either set up family counseling and made the effort to realize how very wrong he was…or he just wasn’t welcome in our lives. We haven’t seen or heard from him since. He’s never once tried to see our son, and I’ve never seen a penny is support.

Because of all of this personal stress, I couldn’t walk a block without having contractions, and every time my son moved or kicked it was extremely painful. The morning I went into labor everything appeared fine. All the usual progressive signs of labor starting were there, and I wasn’t very uncomfortable…considering. So after my water broke I informed my mother it was time to head to the hospital. In retrospect, I really wish I had hired a Duala. I needed an advocate to stop the ediots in the medical profession from making my labor and delivery of my son such a horrible experience. I wasn’t exactly in the best of positions…trying to bring a living being into the world, and my mother didn’t understand what was going on any more than I did. It wasn’t until afterwards that I found out the absurdity of what they did, and that I really could have refused some of what they stated was necessary. But I didn’t know. A Duala would have known; so I highly suggest that every woman, regardless of how many children you have, have a Duala. Their entire purpose is to take care of you, make the experience of giving birth to a child a wonderful experience, and be an advocate for you on what your wishes are during labor. I had no idea how to speak up, and I was scared…so giving birth to my son was one of the worst experiences I’ve ever had. 26 hours of labor, half way through, the pain hit me so hard that I began screaming uncontrollably. Not a single nurse came to my side to help comfort or calm me, or help me breathe. They ran out of the room, and came back with a doctor who pulled me into a sitting position, pushed me over to round my back, told me not to moved, and gave me an epidural. Something that I had specifically put in my written birth plan that I didn’t want!

So after 26 hours I’m informed that my cervix is closing and an emergency c-section is required. I knew something wasn’t right when I could feel the razor when they saved the area my doctor would be cutting. So while I’m open on the operating table, the epidural just stops working, and I start screaming that I can feel it…at that point I’m gassed and knocked out.

After I wake up, I find I’m in a hospital room, my mom has my son. He was fine…not a single health issue. Of course they did all the completely unnecessary medical injections/tests that I specifically said I did not want done…so let’s just put it this way…everything I wanted for my son’s delivery, didn’t happen. I’m then told that it took almost 2 hours to repair the damage inside me…apparently my uterus kept tearing (so that certainly explains the pain I was in every time my son moved.) After two days I left the hospital, they wanted to keep me longer, but I needed to get out of there.

8 weeks later, I’m back in the OR for unexplainable abdominal pain. They open me up, and I end up with a full hysterectomy. And this surgery took another 2 hours (should have been 30 minutes). My doctor explained to me afterwards that there wasn’t even a medical term for what they saw. My uterus had literally rotted and fallen apart inside me. She said all that was left was goop; which took over 2 hours to clean out of my abdomen.

It turned out; my son is truly a miracle child. They (the medical professionals) can’t explain how I was able to make it through the pregnancy, or how I was able to deliver a healthy living child. Such medical cases always end in either miscarriage, or a still-birth. My son was obviously meant to be here, and every day (even on the days when he drives me out of my mind) I watch him learn, and grow, and experience. He amazes me, and I’ve never loved anyone so much in my entire life. However, it took my some time to fully realize and appreciate how precious and amazing my son is. I went through a year of postpartum; I had to really rely on my mother to not only help care for my son, but take care of me because I just couldn’t do it. It has been a struggle on both our ends, but I will be eternally grateful for what my mother did. She stepped in and literally raised my son when I couldn’t.

After the second surgery the medical issues really began. Within a couple of months the weight started coming. I’m now 50 lbs. over-weight; and it’s just doesn’t want to go anywhere. After about a year and a half, the chronic fatigue hit. I was a dancer, performing all over the AZ with my troupe. I loved latin dancing, yoga, palates, zumba. But slowly the fatigue made all of these activities impossible. And the weight just kept coming. About a year after that, the insomnia started. I’ve had to take a prescription sleeping pill every night for the past 11 months, and I’m going to have to continue using them for an indefinite amount of time. I don’t even have the energy to keep in touch with friends; so every day I come home with my son and it takes everything I have just to make sure he and the house and dog are taken care of. And finally, the chronic muscle pain began about 6 months ago.

It began as a sore back that just wouldn’t go away; so, I decided to try and get a massage at least once a month. But the pain got worse, not better. So my next step was to go to a chiropractor. I began getting adjustments, and the pain got even worse. I’ve tried acupuncture…no luck. The pain is so bad now that I’m on pain medication 24/7.

And what are my medical professionals doing you might ask…scratching their heads mostly. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t blame them. I realize that today’s doctors just aren’t trained to look at the whole body. They’re trained to do whatever they have to in order to get rid of the symptom. This doesn’t help the patient (me) at all. Masking and covering up symptoms isn’t going to make the situation better. But my numerous doctors have given it their best. I’ve gone through about 7 different ones now. I’ve had more blood work done than most people have in their entire lifetimes. I’ve had ultrasounds, scans, xrays, MRI’s, you name it. We’ve looked at my vitamin levels for deficiencies, my hormone levels, my thyroid, my bones, my joints…I’ve been tested for everything under the stars. I did have a slight vitamin B deficiency which has since been corrected. I do have a 1 centimeter growth on my thyroid, but they say it isn’t affecting my thyroid levels at this time and we’re keeping an eye on its size for growth. The MRI showed very slight arthritis in my back, but nothing major. The tests have told us nothing, but my symptoms are very real, and continue to get worse. Oh, and I’ve lost almost an entire inch in my height. I’m short as it is…so that wasn’t exactly a fun discovery. I used to lie and say I was 5’4”, because I was closer to 4” than I was 3”; not any more.

So, what’s next on the list of diagnosis that my doctors have given me…fibromyalgia. My current doctor, a very nice woman, but still, being educated in the current medical world in the good old US of A automatically gives her a disadvantage regarding my treatment. Look at the symptoms, not the person; but I’m still hopeful. I’m on pain medication so I can function, sleeping pills every night so I can sleep, and 2 different medications for fibromyalgia. They may work, thus far they aren’t. But we keep trying. I can’t live on pain medication, nor do I want to, but that’s the world I’m living in right now.

My doctor tells me that although it isn’t medically proven, fibromyalgia appears in a number of people after a physical trauma in their lives. I’d certainly say that my pregnancy, labor, and postpartum would constitute a physical and emotional trauma. A wonderful and bonding experience with my child…it was not! And I hope that my medical issues haven’t caused any undue emotional problems for my son, he certainly doesn’t deserve the blame for any of this. He’s been the innocent bystander who unfortunately has a mother with continuing medical problems.

The medical literature on fibromyalgia isn’t particularly inspiring, but I’m still investigating all of the information I can dig up. My doctor says that once we find a medication(s) that work for me, my fatigue and pain should let up…let’s hope! I wake up in the morning and my entire lower half of my body just throbs with pain, my back has shooting pains, and It just tends to move all over my body. The mornings are the worst. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. But I don’t (at least not every morning). I take my pain medication as soon as I wake up, and get into a warm shower. The warm water helps after the fact; during, even the spray of the water on my back hurts. If you press on my back, gluts, or thighs I’ll scream…which is what one of my chiropractors found out when they started testing all of the pain points they check when considering a diagnosis of fibromyalgia.

I’m trying to stay positive about all of this. At least I have a name for it now, even if it took 4 years to get here. And I refuse to accept that my physically active life is over. I miss all of the activities I used to do, and I want that life back. I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I look in the mirror and it’s so hard to not be disgusted by what I see, but I try. There are a lot of days that I cry, but no one sees it. I keep a smile on my face, do everything I can to not give in to the pain, and just keep going. If I give up, I’ll drown in this disease. I can’t and won’t let this disease rule my life; it won’t define me. I cry when no one can see because I need to release all of the negative emotions I carry around inside me, but then I take a deep breath and tell myself that everything is going to be okay. It has to be.

I will figure out how to live with this disease. It’s incurable, but others have found a way to live with it, and so will I. I will not be defined by a disease, but by who I am and how I chose to live my life. Just breath…everything will be okay.

Intelligence leading to stupidity...

I'm not sure what causes this phenomenon, but I've witnessed in my years of work in a higher education institution that the more "book smart" many people are, the less common sense the appear to possess. Now,
I can't claim that everyone with a graduate degree has this affliction, because they don't. I'm unclear as to the life circumstances that cause individuals of extreme intelligence to so completely lack the very basic of appropriate human behavior. But in my personal experience in this area of work, one either has a "normal" level of common sense, or you just don't have the slightest clue about social maturity and appropriate behavior.

I wish I had some answers. This immaturity can range from slightly rude and inappropriate comments to outright emotional and psychological abuse. It can be difficult at times to stay calm and not take the abuse personally, which would be allowing these individuals to destroy your confidence in yourself. Sometimes it really hurts, and they don't appear to be aware of it, or if they are aware, they don't care.

I've never met any other group of individuals with such an over-inflated ego. The comments they tend to make are centered around getting their way at any cost. Your feelings are of no concern. They make unbelievably hurtful and inappropriate (verbally and in writing which can be sent to entire work units). I hate to say that my four year old son shows more maturity and empathy than these grown adults. It's completely and utterly absurd and unacceptable.

The worst part of all of this, is that because of these individuals positions, no one seems to stand up and say ENOUGH! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO TREAT ME WITH SUCH DISRESPECT. However, I've made a decision; after years of not confronting these individuals when they choose me as their unwilling target, I'm going to stand up (figuratively speaking) and say enough. I know I do a good job, and I have every right to demand respect from those I work with.

It's so true that you teach people how to treat you. By remaining silent, I allow these individuals to chip away at my self-confidence. This leads to poor quality work, less enjoyment in what I do, low morale, and unwillingness to do anything to assist these individuals with work related issues, and heightened levels of anxiety. I've had enough. I certainly have no intention of lowering myself to their level with petty insults and temper tantrums. These appear to be their area of expertise. But I will stand up and let it be known when they cross the line with me. I deserve respect. I work hard and try to be open to change and new ideas. I don't always succeed, but I always do my best. So the next time I'm verbally attached by the overly large children I work with, I need to remember, this is their problem not mine. I need to see these attacks for what they really are, a very sad person's attempt at getting attention. When I think of it in these terms it makes me curious as to what happened in their lives that they believe this is how you get what you want. Could it be cultural? Were they treated in a similar fashion? Were they only taught to respond to petty immaturity by mimicking the behavior? Or, has their higher level education given them a sense of entitlement that makes them feel like they can treat others no better than crap stuck to the bottom of their shoes?

My belief, I could care less how much formal education you do or do not have. We are all a part of the human family, and as such, we treat others with the same level of respect you wish to be treated. No ifs, ands, or buts. No one can change the behavior of others (no matter how hard I wish I could), but we all get in this world that which we give. I know that for every hurtful and malicious act these individuals commit, it will return to them in some form in kind. So, it will be challenging, but a challenge I'm willing to take on. I'm a strong woman, and I will endeavor to respond with tact and professionalism. No longer will I respond to their actions with silence, but with the courage and confidence I know I hold within myself. No one can take these away from me unless I give them permission to do so; that permission has now been permanently revoked.

Demon possession...are you serious?

Why do so many people who otherwise seem perfectly intelligent believe in demon possession? I watched a show the other night called Beyond Belief. They were discussing demons as if that was the answer to all of the problems in the world. Apparently, according to those interviewed, certain habits such as drugs and drinking open the door for Satan and his demons to run amuck from within the afflicted person. One, who is actually a famous singer in a heavy metal band, actually believes that certain mantra meditations opens the doors for demons. Really? Can you possibly be more absurd? And of course he also grouped black magic and witchcraft into the same category. It's fairly obvious that these people just don't have a clue. Wake up and join the twenty first century! We are not living in the times of the Puritans when everything bad in the world can be blamed on curses, demons, and witchcraft. We should be smarter than this...

They also interviewed a Pastor who claims to cast demons out of his parishioners every Sunday. These people calmly attend their Sunday service, and towards the end, begin writhing on the floor, screaming obscenities and incoherent babble, and vomit in paper bags to "expel the demons" that are obviously taken up residence within them. I'm sorry, but are you kidding? The fact that people honestly believe that demons are the cause of their woes is astonishing to me.

Has no one considered taking any responsibility for their own lives? Lets not take action to make any positive changes in your life, just blame it all on Satan and his minions. They've been an easy scapegoat for centuries. And why is it, that every time the absurd belief in demons, curses, and evil appear, the Catholic Church is never far behind? Not that I don't believe in evil. I do believe that there are people in this world who are inherently evil. Something is just so wrong with their makeup and brain, that they embody all that is horrible and evil. But those are individuals who are mentally disturbed, not possessed.

Curses have certainly been around for ages, but they only seem to hold any real power if the one supposedly being cursed believes in them. And demons, well, I'm just not convinced. Every living thing on this planet and beyond has a life essence which can affect the world. Our emotions and actions to those emotions can make major changes in our realities...for good or bad. But I don't think demons exist, only our own emotions and wills taking shape in our lives. Restless souls and energies may occasionally go bump in the night, but demons are not the answer.

And what's even more extraordinary is that those who really do believe in the load of bull actually experience a level of positive change in their lives, or at least that's what they say publicly. Talk about the power of belief in action. But I can't see that this is a healthy way to deal with your issues. These people are living in a delusional world where they blame outside forces. You can't make positive changes in your life through blame, but rather by taking responsibility for your thoughts and actions. Eventually this way of living and dealing with life is going to backfire on these people, and then all hell is really going to break loose.

My advice for the demon afflicted...stop blaming and start looking within yourself for healthy positive change. Eat well, exercise, get regular check-ups, and get a therapist! Living in a delusional demon world will only fracture your psyche, and those who believe in this absurd junk are already a bit cracked as it is.

Know Thyself

Last night I caught a show on PBS “Faces of America”. I’ve seen bits and pieces of the show here and there, but I was able to view the majority of the show. It was amazingly enlightening on how similar we all really are. So often we see skin color, clothing, and we automatically judge the person as different, foreign, and dangerous. But that really isn’t the case. An African studies poet and professor found out that she is in fact 66% European and only 27% African, with 7% Asian added into the mix. Eva Langora realized she is not Hispanic, but Spanish, Asian, and African.

So many people wanted to have a diverse background and showed a bit of disappointment when they were strictly European. I think this would be fascinating, and if you have $130 you can request a DNA test kit and send it in for your very own ancestry analysis. They include a map and charts with your genetic ancestry.

I’m about as white as you can get, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find Native American and African ancestry in my family. From the history I’ve dug up, we tended to be rather open to other nationalities and cultures; and I did find an advertisement in a paper from the 1730’s (when my family first arrived from Ireland) notifying the community of a run away slave. I’ve also found out that my grandfather’s great-grandfather was supposedly Native American, but I have yet to confirm this or figure out which tribe. I would love to confirm some of this information, even if I can’t actually find names and dates.

The human family really is small. I think of all of the bigots and racists in this world and would personally love to see their faces it they learned they had the same blood running through their veins of the individuals and groups that they detest. Our past has nothing to do with color or dress, it lets us know where we came from and hopefully to embrace the diversity we carry within ourselves. Now, if we could only come up with a way of testing our religious ancestry…now that would be interesting and very enlightening.

Summer Solstice 2011

The Summer Solstice falls on June 21st this year. Solstice comes from the Latin Sol (sun) stice (to stand still), as the days get longer and longer, the sun rises until it appears to stand still in the sky. The Summer Solstice (also called Midsummer or Litha) is the longest day and shortest night of the year.

Significance of the Summer Solstice:

In pre-historic times, summer was a joyous time of the year for those Aboriginal people who lived in the northern latitudes. The snow had disappeared; the ground had thawed out; warm temperatures had returned; flowers were blooming; leaves had returned to the deciduous trees. Some herbs could be harvested, for medicinal and other uses. Food was easier to find. The crops had already been planted and would be harvested in the months to come. Although many months of warm/hot weather remained before the fall, they noticed that the days were beginning to shorten, so that the return of the cold season was inevitable.

The first (or only) full moon in June is called the Honey Moon. Tradition holds that this is the best time to harvest honey from the hives.

This time of year, between the planting and harvesting of the crops, was the traditional month for weddings. This is because many ancient peoples believed that the "grand [sexual] union" of the Goddess and God occurred in early May at Beltaine. Since it was unlucky to compete with the deities, many couples delayed their weddings until June. (Or, many couples realized in June that their "fun" in May has now turned into a baby). June remains a favorite month for marriage today. In some traditions, newly wed couples were fed dishes and beverages that featured honey for the first month of their married life to encourage love and fertility. The surviving vestige of this tradition lives on in the name given to the holiday immediately after the ceremony: The Honeymoon.

So, what to do for the solstice with a 4 year old...
I'm thinking lighting the summer bonfires is out of the question; even if we did have the space set up for it...we live in Arizona...we definitily have enough heat here. We are going to make paper sunflowers for our alter, and possibly a little ritual he can help me with (which must of course include lots of running around with arms raised - anything to wear that boy out!). And for me...the knowledge that fall is on its way with cooler wheather...I can't wait...it's my favorite season of all :-)

Wiccan Blessing for Summer

As the sun spirals its longest dance,

Cleanse us
As nature shows bounty and fertility
Bless us
Let all things live with loving intent
And to fulfill their truest destiny.

The Joy of Writing?

I struggle with writing, and I doubt myself because it isn't always "fun". Then I read literary agent, Rachelle Gardner's, blog post "Are We Having Fun Yet?".  I felt much better about my writing, or lack there of, after reading this. I didn't realize that authors don't always enjoy writing. I love the planning stage; outlining my story, creating my characters, but when it comes right down to actually writing the story the passion leaves me. This is normal! What a relief, I may be a writer after all!

I really want to complete my story, I want that finished novel but I struggle with the writing of it. But what I've realized is that it's okay. I'm allowed to feel that way, and others feel the exact same way...and they're published successful writers. I just need to keep going, stop doubting myself and not quit because the thought of finishing the novel and having it in my hands is worth the struggle. Thank you Rachelle for all of your advice and inspiration!

Stepping outside the comfort zone

At our last staff meeting in my office we were asked to think of things we do (or could do) to step outside of our comfort zones. We all get accustomed to certain routines, people, and places that allow us to stay in that zone of safety. But to do this day after day can lead to quite a boring existence. I have a list of things I've done in the past. Travel is up there at the top of my list, and I mean traveling anywhere (by myself). I get panicky thinking about having to drive somewhere I'm not familiar with, or traveling to other states/countries. But then I think, if I allow my fear and anxiety to rule me and keep me in my comfort zone, I'll never see the world. So, I travel every chance I get. I've traveled to the UK and Ireland alone, and I spent last Samhain (Halloween) in Salem, MA. These were the best times of my life, even though I was scared to do it. This summer my son and I are driving to Williams, AZ where we will take the train to the Grand Canyon. This will be my first trip with my 4 year old son; this should be an adventure, and it scares me to death. But I'm going to do it, and we're going to have a great time!

Another biggy on the out of my comfort zone list is writing. I'm an aspiring writer, I haven't had any professional training, but I think I have some really interesting book ideas; so I'm trying to write my first novel and keep up on my blog. And the scariest part...is letting the world see what I have to say. I've recently started producing my office's monthly newsletter, and I've had a handful of articles published. Sending my writing to our media/pr director for editing nearly sent me into an anxiety attack. But she was immensely supportive and continues to push me to keep writing.

I think I'm scared of someone saying "you're wrong, that's not right, you're writing sucks". Some will probably think that, but I'm hoping that some will want to hear what I have to say. I think I'm a pretty creative person, but I worry that I'm just not good enough and by making my writing public I'm setting myself up for ridicule and rejection.

So I think back at the other things I've done in my life that I've initially felt the same way about and ask myself, was it worth it? And my answer, absolutely! When I feel that anxiety in the pit of my stomach when I'm presented with something new I know that if I decide to go for it, I'll never regret it. And if it doesn't work out, who cares, everything in life is a lesson. I take that fear as a good thing...to me, it means something amazing is just around the corner.

Think about what takes you out of your comfort zone. Has it ever held you back from something you really wish you'd done? If so, why not just take the chance and go for it?

Living with genius and adversity

Today was the annual University Career Women's conference. I had the honor of attending and having the oppurtunity to hear Lucy Hawking speak. Many probably think of her father, Stephen Hawking, the famous theoretical physicist. Lucy's keynote speach was inspirational. Here is a woman who is the middle child of the most famous theoretical physicsit in the world, and the mother of a son with autism. She grew up with a severely disabled father, has traveled the world, authored numerous books, and is currenly finishing her year as writer-in-residence for the ASU Origins Project, which is only the start of her multitude of accomplishements.

Her list of roles and titles is staggering, but she's just like every other woman who juggles career and family. And as she neared her 40th birthday, she, like so many other women in this world felt that she had hit a dead end. So, she travelled 6000 miles to Arizona. Apparently her family and friends waited a month after she arrived to tell her they thought she was crazy, but that didn't stop her.

She has lived with the stares and curiosity of those who don't understand her father's disability and need for autonomy, survived an all girl's boarding school, moved to Russia just as communism fell, got strandad in Syberia, has reported in some of the more dangerous countries, and is raising her autistic son. Her life has been an adventure; not always one of her choosing, but an adventure non the less. And through all of it, she has shown strength and grace. Her experiences have not been easy or even fair, but it's clear her joy for life has never diminished. I can only hope that I can live my life with the same level of grace and joy as she has.

A Cast-Off Coven - Witchy Mystery Gone Bad

When I saw this little book sitting on the book shelf I thought "oh, a cute witchy mystery, this should be a good read", but I'm not so sure now. I confess, I've only read the first 4 chapters, but there have been a number of sections in the book thus far that, to me at least, seem to cross a line that should never be crossed by anyone who writes about modern day Witches.
The author, Juliet Blackwell (pseudonym for Julie Goodson-Lawes) is an anthropologist, artist, renovator and best-selling author. I haven't read her other mystery books, but they involve art and renovation which are talents she possesses herself. She is not, a Witch and her writing reflects that fact. Now, I'll read the rest of the book and hope that she redeems herself, but I'm skeptical. In her authors notes at the end of the book she states that the spells in the book were collected from practicing Witches, but the author appears to only be interested in the spells and mystical, and not the life of a Witch.
Modern day Witches have fought long and hard to rid the general public of the false ideas of what a Witch is, from how dangerous we supposedly are, to whether we force our wills and desires on unsuspecting victims. Let me be very clear, Witches are NOT dangerous because they are Witches, and we NEVER force our wills on anyone or thing. Harm none is our law.
On page 42 the author writes that her main character is creating a mythical being (house elf) for another Witch, which will probably be sold off to the highest bidder. The main character doesn't agree with it, but is doing it anyway because she "owes" the other Witch. Are you kidding me? No self-respecting Witch would sell off a being from this dimension or another to anyone for any reason. That's slavery, and the last time I checked, slavery was abolished...correct? To imply that a modern day Witch would do this is reprehensible.

On page 43 her heroine and the male Witch she is creating the house elf for are discussing how she should cast a love spell on her current beau because "natural love" is just going to be too difficult for her. What!? I didn't realize that there was anything other than "natural" love. And to cast a love spell on a specific individual to compel them is one of the worst offenses. Any Witch worth his or her alter would show you the door if you suggested compelling another being to do what you want (after giving you a firm lecture on why you NEVER do that).
Then we move on to page 53 where the author writes of a discussion that makes the main character angry, and how she has to reign in her anger before she ends up hurting someone. Excuse me? Is she implying that if a Witch gets angry we are more likely to cause physical harm on another?
And the kicker that really got my panties in a bunch is on page 36 where the author describes the traits of a Witch. We can blush, so that myth has been proven false, but we can't cry, and we apparently float on water. Now doesn't that just take us back to the good old Inquisition and Witch Trials!
Witches have fought to dispel these false character descriptions for years. We mourn the deaths of those falsely accused and executed for Witchcraft by those who knew absolutely nothing of what a Witch truly was and is. Writers have a responsibility to do the research regarding their characters and insure that there is a certain level of accuracy and respect given to their characters and to the audience who will read your books. I feel this is missing.
Our law is to harm none. We do not create beings to see them sold off, we do not condone compulsion of others for any reason, we do not harm anyone or thing with our magic, ever! And most importantly, if you are going to write about modern day Witches, there is an appropriateness that must be adhered to. To imply that any of the supposed character traits that were used to imprison, torture, and execute innocent people under the name of Witchcraft is true, is to disrespect every Witch who has ever lived.
A note to all authors, write what you know. Do the research, and be respectful of those you write about.

Is god a bigot?

I've studied different religions for years and one belief always confounds me, regardless of the specific faith, that god has only one "true" path. I don't personally understand it. Individuals have been recorded in history as having enlightened religious experiences from literally every faith in existence; whether it appeared as a dream, vision, near death experience, the voice of "God", you name it, someone has claimed to have experienced it. So how can there be only one way, one path, one face, one gender, one name when so many from so many belief systems have had such life changing experiences?

I look at the words used to describe "God" and can only think that this isn't a god I want anything to do with. Jealous, vengeful, but also loving and kind? If I were to describe a human being like that they'd be considered abusive and in need of serious psychological evaluation and treatment. And where do we get this character description? From religious texts written by other human beings long since dead, and hundreds of years after supposed events occurred.

We have learned that any text that has survived throughout history was written by the "winners". We never get to hear the stories of those who didn't win the war. So why is it that so many people can take the words written in religious texts as absolute truth? We know nothing about these individuals except what we've found. I'm certainly not saying that the authors of religious texts are all lying, but we need to realize that regardless of the intention all humans have individual feelings, opinions, and personal agendas which are always reflected in our writing. It makes no difference if the words are in a blog or religious book, they are only an individuals interpretation and personal beliefs.

I can't believe for a second that the amount of death and destruction that has been wrought by human beings in their attempt to forcibly convince the world that there way is the only way is what any Divine creator would want. We always hear the phrase "look at the larger picture", well, religion needs to do the same. Is it so inconceivable that god foresaw that humans would be amazingly diverse? That we would have so many beautiful and varied cultures and beliefs that one faith simply won't fit everyone? And that god created all religions, so that in our diversity we could find the path that truly spoke to our individual hearts and souls?

All belief systems hold a set of basic beliefs and "rules" to live by, and if one looks closely we will see that they all say the same things; treat others as you would be treated. This sentiment is put in numerous ways, but it really all comes down to this. Over the years humans have added some more colorful and unusual rules like what kind of food to eat/drink, type of clothes to wear, how and where to communicate with god and so on, but I believe all of these where just others who wanted to force their own opinions over those of their faith. We see it all the time, power hungry individuals who will say or do anything to get others to do as they say. It happens today, and it happened hundreds of years ago.

We all need to stop viewing religion as a one way street, but a beautiful map with numerous paths all leading us to our creator. Forcing your personal beliefs down the throats of others will never work, and trying to convince the world that "God" can only by found one way only shows that we have a long way to go to overcome such religious bigotry. Humans can be racist and a bigot, but god never was and never will be.