Saturday, July 23, 2011
Intelligence leading to stupidity...
I'm not sure what causes this phenomenon, but I've witnessed in my years of work in a higher education institution that the more "book smart" many people are, the less common sense the appear to possess. Now,
I can't claim that everyone with a graduate degree has this affliction, because they don't. I'm unclear as to the life circumstances that cause individuals of extreme intelligence to so completely lack the very basic of appropriate human behavior. But in my personal experience in this area of work, one either has a "normal" level of common sense, or you just don't have the slightest clue about social maturity and appropriate behavior.
I wish I had some answers. This immaturity can range from slightly rude and inappropriate comments to outright emotional and psychological abuse. It can be difficult at times to stay calm and not take the abuse personally, which would be allowing these individuals to destroy your confidence in yourself. Sometimes it really hurts, and they don't appear to be aware of it, or if they are aware, they don't care.
I've never met any other group of individuals with such an over-inflated ego. The comments they tend to make are centered around getting their way at any cost. Your feelings are of no concern. They make unbelievably hurtful and inappropriate (verbally and in writing which can be sent to entire work units). I hate to say that my four year old son shows more maturity and empathy than these grown adults. It's completely and utterly absurd and unacceptable.
The worst part of all of this, is that because of these individuals positions, no one seems to stand up and say ENOUGH! I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO TREAT ME WITH SUCH DISRESPECT. However, I've made a decision; after years of not confronting these individuals when they choose me as their unwilling target, I'm going to stand up (figuratively speaking) and say enough. I know I do a good job, and I have every right to demand respect from those I work with.
It's so true that you teach people how to treat you. By remaining silent, I allow these individuals to chip away at my self-confidence. This leads to poor quality work, less enjoyment in what I do, low morale, and unwillingness to do anything to assist these individuals with work related issues, and heightened levels of anxiety. I've had enough. I certainly have no intention of lowering myself to their level with petty insults and temper tantrums. These appear to be their area of expertise. But I will stand up and let it be known when they cross the line with me. I deserve respect. I work hard and try to be open to change and new ideas. I don't always succeed, but I always do my best. So the next time I'm verbally attached by the overly large children I work with, I need to remember, this is their problem not mine. I need to see these attacks for what they really are, a very sad person's attempt at getting attention. When I think of it in these terms it makes me curious as to what happened in their lives that they believe this is how you get what you want. Could it be cultural? Were they treated in a similar fashion? Were they only taught to respond to petty immaturity by mimicking the behavior? Or, has their higher level education given them a sense of entitlement that makes them feel like they can treat others no better than crap stuck to the bottom of their shoes?
My belief, I could care less how much formal education you do or do not have. We are all a part of the human family, and as such, we treat others with the same level of respect you wish to be treated. No ifs, ands, or buts. No one can change the behavior of others (no matter how hard I wish I could), but we all get in this world that which we give. I know that for every hurtful and malicious act these individuals commit, it will return to them in some form in kind. So, it will be challenging, but a challenge I'm willing to take on. I'm a strong woman, and I will endeavor to respond with tact and professionalism. No longer will I respond to their actions with silence, but with the courage and confidence I know I hold within myself. No one can take these away from me unless I give them permission to do so; that permission has now been permanently revoked.
Labels:
behavior,
common sense,
cruelty,
education,
empathy,
intelligence
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