Ok, so I fell in love. I eloped. My family is
upset. I live in Arizona, my husband lives in Canada. So will I by the end of
this year. It's somewhat difficult to accurately explain how I feel because
I've never experienced this before. We met online, just "Hi, how are
you?" It wasn't meant to turn into love, into marriage; at least not
within a couple of months. But it did. The more we spoke the harder I fell. It
feels right, natural, what I'm supposed to do. I'm not scared or worried about
the future. I suppose I should be because we haven't known each other very
long. It feels like we've known each other all of our lives. We just clicked; flowed
into each other's lives so naturally. We have similar interests, similar
hobbies; our views on life, marriage, kids, all of it, works. We've both come
out of long term relationships and weren't looking for love. It just sort of
found us. Maybe we loved each other in a past life, or lives. How else can I
explain how natural and comfortable I am with him? There’s no modesty, no “best
behavior” crap; just us, being together, loving each other. I start to text
him, and he’s already typing me a message. We think of each other at the same
time. I feel healthy with him near me. The pain is there, but it eases; begins
to relax a little. Maybe it will finally begin to fade. He can touch me whereas
anyone else would make me wince in pain. I didn’t marry him because I’m lonely.
I was. I won’t deny that, but I could have found someone who lived in the same
state if all I wanted was someone around. I didn’t marry him to get away from
anything or anyone; I’m not trying to run away from this life. I want to take
my life and evolve it into something more. I want more. I deserve more. And I
found more, in Canada. He makes me feel like I’m the most precious woman on
this earth. Beautiful, smart, sexy…the whole package, which I know I’m not, but
when he’s around, I feel it. I don’t hide things from him that I normally would
with other men. I built a wall around my heart after my divorce. No one would
ever get that close to me again…ever. Men were good for sex, but that was about
it; until I met my future husband. My wall didn’t just crumble, but came down
in one mighty whoosh of hurricane strength destruction. Blocks and debris scattered
from here to the other side of the world. There’s no chance of ever rebuilding
that wall, and I don’t want to. Not with him. I get excited when he calls, I
run for my phone when I hear a text come through. I desperately miss him now
that he has returned to Canada. I have 3 weeks to wait until I can fly up to
see him. He’s my best friend; I want to tell him everything about me,
everything that happens to me, everything I’m thinking about. It doesn’t matter
how dumb it may sound, I know he won’t make fun of me. I trust him with everything;
I know he will never do anything to lose my trust, my respect, and my love. I
feel complete with him in my life. I haven’t been happy where I’m at for a very
long time, I can see happiness again with him; in his misty blue eyes, his warm
smile; I can see it, lying there just waiting for me to reach out and take it.
I’m tired of sticking around because I feel I need to for others. Now I’m doing
this strictly for me. I may not have known him long, but I know him enough to
know he is the one, this is right, and I’m going to do this. He is my best
friend, my lover, my confidant, my soul mate, my love from lives past, the man who will be a father to my son, my life, my
husband. I love him with all of my heart and soul, and I will do anything to keep this amazing man in my life. We have both agreed, our first relationships were simply the test run; now we're ready for the real thing.
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