I can not tell you how many times I have seen someone on the side of the road and immediately wanted to pull over to see if they needed help, but didn't. My fear stops me every time. I’m a short, little white girl and scared of being attacked. Even if I can see it’s another woman, I don’t stop. I've heard too many horror stories of attackers – men and women alike – who have used this as a ploy to get someone to stop and ask if they need help. Then I immediately feel guilty because I shouldn't think the worst of everyone, but my personal safety keeps me trapped in my illusory cage of safety. I realize this isn't exactly rational thinking, but I’m just flat out scared.
Do you notice if you do or don’t look others in the eyes when you walk down the street? I usually don’t. I think if I look at you, I’ll be more noticeable, even though I know from numerous news reports that doing just that causes attackers to notice you more. Luckily I’ve never been attacked, even though I probably look like a juicy morsel of a victim. Lucky me.
I’ve just sold a few furniture items on craigslist for the first time, and I can’t tell you how scared I am of letting people know where I live. I don’t trust the honesty in people. Even thought both items sold were legitimate. The first was a single mom with her daughter who purchases old pieces to refinish them and resell; the second a middle aged guy who wanted new blinds for his home . Nothing scary about either of them, but after we agreed to meet so they could see what I was selling I locked all my doors to make sure there was a barrier between me and them until I could get a good look at them. Size them up – see if they “looked” honest – what ever that means.
It’s really ridiculous because all the serial killers look like the nice guy next door. But it’s just as ridiculous to automatically assume everyone is going to hurt you. I know that isn’t true, I know that if I needed help I’d want someone to stop. Is it the media? Our culture? Terrorism? Or maybe it’s a combination of all of them. What is it that fosters so much fear that we can’t open up to each other and trust that human beings are for the most part good people?
Statistics on NationMaster.com show that in the US only 44% of people are trusting, compared to Norway at 65%, and France at only 23%. I’ve heard many wonderful things about Norway, and some not so great things about France so is it really a part of the culture we’re born into that decides how trusting we are? I think it does. I also think a lot has to do with the media. Horror and mayhem sell, violence gets our attention like a car accident the freeway, you just can’t look away. How many good stories do we hear about in the news, I’d be surprised if it even comes close to 5%. That’s why I refuse to watch the news or any of the political shows blaring 24/7, except on Fridays. My grandfather insists on watching news and politics the entire time I’m there during our Friday dinners and the volume is up loud enough to be heard no matter where you are in the house. I love the man dearly, but I can’t understand why anyone would willingly subject themselves to drivel, outright lies, blatant misinterpretations, hatred, bigotry, crime and violence, and the political mudslinging of politicians. Why would anyone want to put themselves through that kind of torture is beyond my understanding. And in the end, it only perpetuates the mistrust we have in our fellow Americans, regardless of nationality, age, or sex.
Why do we listen to it? It seems so ingrained into us that our immediate response to anything is anger. No one – including myself much of the time – stops long enough to really think before we open our mouths, before we decide our actions, and because of this – we all suffer, the entire world suffers, because the loudest message getting through is hate. Will there ever be a time when that loudest message is love?
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